Sunday, January 12, 2014

IDENTITY BENEATH MY WINGS

Have you ever degraded for many times? Being a homosexual isn’t easy. You have to go beyond the eyes of hypercritical people. You will probably know the meaning of “discrimination.” I am just a gay who also believes in fairytales, who also dream, who also wants to be respected and who also wants to be loved. But how can I reach this objectives if when my own family is criticizing me?

It was a cold evening in November, waiting for my parents and siblings to arrive. I was sitting in the sofa, playing a doll and checking the wall clock, time to time. It was exactly 9 o’clock in the night when I heard a knock on the door, “It was them!” I thought to myself. I open the door immediately, “Mom, Dad! Finally you’re here!” I said in a very energetic tone regardless of tiredness of waiting. My two siblings just stared at me as if I made a wrong move. My Mom greeted me, but my father didn’t.

I was 12 year old when I noticed my family is being cold at me, especially my Dad and my two siblings.
One time, I saw myself alone in the dark and silently crying. I saw my two siblings were happy unwrapping their gifts that was given by our Dad. I felt something in my eyes; my tears were slowly falling down. I have this unusual feeling, my heart is slowly grinding. My Mom tried to comfort me, but it’s too late.
And now that I am 17 year old, still, I and my Dad rarely talk. We don’t have that time to talk with each other. I lately knew that he can’t accept me for who I am because of being Gay. But what can I do? Stop this feeling? If he can’t accept me, at least, respect me as his son. I have my emotions too; I am not numb! Gays are human too; we can feel the feelings of heterosexuals! They don’t know the feeling of being neglected as a human.


Three years from now I want to be professional in my profession, which is Journalism. I wanna prove to my father, that I can continue living without his guidance! J L

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